Stump Alex Wayne!

Think you know more than me about Social Security? Planning to get up early Monday morning with nothing to do? Then call into the C-SPAN show "Washington Journal" and take your best shot, chump!

I'll be appearing from 7:45 to 8:30 a.m. Don't think I'll be easy pickins: I won't be my usual over-caffeinated, slightly hungover, grumpy morning self. No sir. Because I have tips from a "Washington Journal" veteran:

1. Know where the cameras are and look at them when you talk to the caller, but turn slightly toward the host when you talk with her/him.

2. Wear a blue shirt - it looks better on camera - and a solid tie - red, blue, green, gold. Have a nice close shave in the a.m.

3. Okay, superficial stuff out of the way: Make yourself a list of bullet points on the stuff - simple, straightforward, 8th grade level bullet points that you want to make. Don't bring a stack of press releases or magazines because it'll just get in your way on the TV set - just two sheets of paper.

4. Also make a list of catchy sound bites like "social security has always been called the 'third rail' of politics, but this year everyone on Capitol Hill is dancing along that rail trying not to get electrocuted." Or some crap like that that SOUNDS good.

5. TALK SLOW but not for too long. Don't wander with your points or give a 2 minute answer.

6. CSPAN seems to like knowing who the key players are, so have a list of the 5 or 6 most important members of Congress and where they stand - that fills time and puts names into the mix.

Be yourself, don't drink too much coffee before hand because you'll be caffeinated and have to pee.

And if you think I'll be spending all weekend on the sound bites, you are correct, sir.