Thursday, September 29, 2005

How I spent my summer, Ch. 2: Rome


Rome is cool. Rome at night is cooler. Putting a big Puma ad at the top of the Spanish Steps (right) isn't so cool. One little piece of Americana I wish we hadn't exported.

After spending nearly a week in Rome in August, I've decided that DC is the most touristed place on Earth. The crowds of tourists around the Colosseum were pretty bad, but they've got nothing on the hordes I have to wade through just to do my job between June and September.

Oh, and let me dispel one myth right here. There are no pickpockets or thieves in Rome. No one ever attempted to rob me or Mom (who was equipped with a theft-proof -- albeit awfully ugly -- purse, just in case). We didn't see any crowds of gypsy kids swarming around tourists on the Forum. And I felt a helluva lot safer walking all over Rome at night than I do DC.

So quit writing about it already, Rick Steves.


Photo credit: Me.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Back to the slide show momentarily...

... but first, a rant against Creationists.

Why is this trial even necessary? Why can't these people simply acknowledge one FACT -- inarguable, inescapable: "intelligent design" is not science.

There's no way to test whether an "unidentified intelligence" -- as many reporters seemed to have been conned into calling it -- created life. (I would call it "supernatural being," if I were the reporter on the story -- which I probably will never be, given my quite biased view of the subject. But kudos to AP reporter Martha Raffaele for consistently and accurately referring to ID as an "idea," instead of a "theory.")

If it can't be tested it's not science, and if it's not science it doesn't belong in biology class. The end. Is there a lawyer in the house -- why wasn't this case won on summary judgment?

While we're on the topic of myth and science, this is very cool. Almost as good as catching the Loch Ness Monster on tape, in my book. Shame, though, that they had to badly wound the thing in order to film it.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

How I spent my summer, Ch. 1: Flying


Steerage is for suckers.*

We went business class, baby. Which actually wasn't as relaxing as I anticipated. Good food and free booze and stewardesses who asked, about every two minutes, whether you needed more of said booze. And good movies, too -- no "Miss Congeniality 2," thank you very much. "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" on the way over and "Sahara" on the way back, plus bits and pieces of "Kingdom of Heaven," television, and video games. ("Guide" is great. "Sahara" is dumb fun, but a bit of an insult to Clive Cussler.)

But I didn't sleep an hour either way, even with all the extra leg and ass room. And I still sat in fear that I would be stricken by deep vein thrombosis.

Anyway, above is The Alps from the plane window. Most impressive mountains I've ever seen, not having ever seen the Rockies.


Photo credit: Me.

*Suckers whose moms didn't buy their plane tickets, that is.

How I spent my summer vacation: Prelude


Let's get this out of the way: More than one person has bitched recently that I haven't been posting often enough and my blog is "boring." You know what? If you want to read my shit every day, buy a subscription to my employer's publication. Otherwise, you'll get it when I feel like it and not a moment sooner.

I feel like it.

At right: Me and my mother on the edge of the crater of Mt. Vesuvius. The Bay of Naples is behind us. Sorrento, where we would spend a harrowing two days (more on that later), is way back there to the left of my head. Capri is to the right of Mom's head.

This was my finest accomplishment of two weeks in Italy: dragging my mother to the top of the most dangerous volcano in Europe. At a few points I thought I might have to administer CPR. Which is really sad, considering that you can drive almost all the way to the top.

(Pause to let Mom curse me a bit.)

Hey, but I'll grant you, that last half-mile or so is a real bitch. Nice that the Italians sell beer at the summits of their volcanoes.

So anyway, now that Blogger has made it reeeeal easy to post photos, I'm going to be industrious-like and post a regular series of items about Italy. Oughta keep certain people off my goddamn back.


Photo credit: Some German dude that Mom thought was hot.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Really, I am ready for some football

The 2005 NFL season kicks off tomorrow night. Time to meet my fantasy team: the Noodly Appendages. Imagine a big inflatable flying spaghetti monster at the entrance to the tunnel to the locker room, as well as a bunch of slutty Creationist cheerleaders, and out they come...

At QB: Jake Delhomme, Carolina and Byron Leftwich, Jacksonville, backed up by David Carr, Houston.
At RB: Tiki Barber, New York Giants and Chris Brown, Tennessee, backed up by J.J. Arrington, Arizona.
At WR: Randy Moss, Oakland; Terrell Owens, Philadelphia and Lee Evans, Buffalo, backed up by Rod Smith, Denver and Marcus Robinson, Minnesota.
At TE: Antonio Gates, San Diego, backed up by Bubba Franks, Green Bay.
Kicker: Jeff Reed, Pittsburg.
Defense: Washington Redskins.

Fittingly, the Appendages' strength is the receivers and tight ends. Or at least until Randy Moss gets his leg broken tomorrow night by the New England Patriots' Rodney Harrison, as one of my coworkers has forecast. I'm not wild about my running backs situation. And Delhomme and Leftwich better have the break-out seasons everyone's predicting, or I'm dead in the marinara in this two-QB league.

Update (9/27/05): Three games into the season, the Appendages are one of two 3-0 teams in the league and are third in scoring. The receivers are carrying the team, as expected. Also, I snapped up (Fast) Willie Parker of Pittsburg and Cadillac Williams of Tampa after the first weekend, significantly upgrading the RB corps. Delhomme was killing me until this weekend, when he threw for 3 TDs. I could care less that it was a losing effort. Carr, Brown, Arrington, Robinson, Franks and Washington's D have all been handed their walking papers.

Sick of my infrequent posting schedule?

Then check out my friend Pete Wagener, who is free to write about stuff I can't go anywhere near. Also, he's cool because his site runs on software he wrote.