Not as hot as it sounds

A play in one act, based on actual events. Scene: a not uncrowded Metro platform on a Saturday afternoon much like this one. In fact, this one.

Loud dumb ugly girl: "So he's like, it's not 4:00 yet, and that's when we usually get started."
Dumb girl's friend: "Uhhuh?"
LDUG: "And so I'm like, well, I guess I'll just have to take care of myself."
DGF:
Alex : What the fuck?
LDUG: "And he's like, well, I guess I'll have to take care of myself, too!"
DGF:
LDUG: "And so he goes in the bathroom, and I'm like still in bed, and I kick off my panties..."
Alex : What the hell is wrong with people?
DGF: oooh!
LDUG: "... And he comes out of the bathroom, and I'm like, 'did you take care of yourself?' And he's like, 'sure I did,' and so I throw back the covers and I'm like 'too bad!'..."

Train arrives. Girls board last car. Alex goes out of his way to board second-to-last car. Close doors.