Before heading up to the neighborhood Crappy Variety Store, I thought I might try out the Gillette "Fusion," the successor to the Mach 3 and its varietals. There have been a lot of really bad advertisements for it, and a friend of mine gave it a strong endorsement, so I figured why not. Plus, I'm pretty sure that Gillette was inspired to design it by the funniest Onion column ever.
"Well, fuck it," I thought. "We're going to five blades."
Until I saw the price tag.
For $22, I can buy 12 replacement blades for my good 'ol Mach 3. You know what $22 gets me in the Fusion line? Ninety-nine cents short of eight blades, that's what.
This is bullshit. This is a travesty, an insult. For $2.88 a blade, this goddamn razor had better wipe my ass, clean the bathroom and make me a sandwich. And if it cuts me, even once, I want my money back.
So instead, I went with this:
$1.50 a piece. Now that's what I'm talking about. Here's a quick review: Except for the blades, the razors are made entirely of plastic, so they feel awfully light and flimsy. It feels like you're putting some kind of child's toy to your face, rather than a fucking tool, as with the Mach 3. The first shave is a little rough; the blades are a bit too sharp. But shaves number two and three are just fine -- quick, smooth, painless. Shave number four nicked me; the Xtreme 3 Comfort Plus doesn't wear as well as a Mach 3 blade. But that's okay, because they're marginally cheaper.
So in sum, the Xtreme 3 Comfort Plus gets the coveted alexwayne.com endorsement.
And Gillette can kiss my hairy ass.
2 comments:
If the Lindsey post was shaking off the rust, this is the goods, right here.
Screw five blades. Cheap and flimsy is where it's at.
I've been using the fusion for awhile now, just to use up the blades I bought when I bought the razor. The fusion is awful and the mach 3 is still the king of razors. My thick, slovak stubble clogs up the fusion blades and because the space between them is so tight I have to use a brush (A BRUSH) to get my hairs out of there. It's ree gald darn diculous.
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