Six-foot-twenty, fucking killing for fun

I went out to Mount Vernon today, which reminded me of the funniest thing I've ever seen on YouTube.

My first time out there. Went by boat, which is ... well, slow. Some notables:

• Old GW had a helluva view from his place. I should have taken pictures, but I was lazy. Next time.
• Either American tourists have lost weight, as a group, or fat people just don't want to hike all over Colonial estates. Either way, I was pleasantly surprised.
• George Washington suffered a terrifying and excruciating death (in short, he got a really bad case of strep throat and suffocated). That makes me sad.
• His plantation produced a hell of a lot of whiskey. That makes me happy.
• We don't seem to know a heck of a lot about the man, despite some 20,000 letters. The museum at Mt. V, appropriately, features some hand-wringing over his attitude toward slavery. (He owned more than 300 slaves; that's bad. Yet he seemed to realize late in life that slavery as an institution might be a bad idea, and freed his upon Martha's death; that's good. Yet he also buried the slaves that died on his estate in unmarked graves; that's ... callous? The frogurt is also cursed.) But aside from the slavery stuff and some mention of his military failings (surrender at Fort Necessity), to believe the museum, everything else in Washington's personal and public life was pretty peachy. Maybe he was just that awesome, but I dunno ... maybe that YouTube masterpiece up there is not only hilarious, but also an astute bit of commentary on American mythology.

Update: My mom, an archaeologist, says that slave graves were often marked with headstones made of wood, or with "conch shells, deliberately broken pottery or glass, and other cultural items which may or may not remain today." So maybe GW wasn't a callous old bastard. Although mom also reports that recent research indicates that Washington used to rotate his house slaves out of his presidential home in Philadelphia regularly, because under Pennsylvania law they were free after six months residency in the state. Hmm.