Bathe it, and bring it to me

I want an iPhone 3G. I want one so bad my teeth hurt. But I can't get one. Why? Because every single store in Virginia and Maryland is sold out of the model I want (16GB, black).

If I had known THIS was going to happen, I might've been crazy enough to do THIS last Friday:

Photo credit: ABC News

But I didn't. So now all those crazy fuckers have iPhones, while I -- who thought I was sooo smart for waiting a couple days, when I'd be able to stroll into an empty store and grab a new phone -- I'm sitting here with my thumb up my ass and a shitty, three-year-old Razr in my hand.

Don't I feel stupid.