So the turkey wasn't "classically" beautiful, and maybe the stuffing was a tad dry, but I didn't hear any complaints.As Cartman would say, "Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"
This concludes my Thanksgiving liveblogging, such as it was.
Happy holidays, folks.
Remember Christmas Vacation? When Chevy Chase carves the turkey and it lets out this horrible "hissssss" and splits wide open, meatless?
My turkey was something like that (left).
Not really. Although I did bake it upside down, apparently. So it turned out more like a pig pickin' than your traditional fancy-pants thanksgiving. No matter. Delish.
Continuing with the lamest "live blogging" ever ... in fact, it's not even so live anymore.
Anyway, that's a turkey. It tasted as good as it looks right here.
Two things going on at this little gathering. Me: Slaving away at the stove. Guests: Not so much. Last Thanksgiving for a while that I fuck with this stuff, let me tell you.
Pictured above: No-good guests; very good cornbread and crab stuffing ( yes, I know it's not actually IN the turkey, but that's the way mom does it).
In she goes. And only one phone call to my personal Butterball hotline (mom) thus far.
I'd tell you the recipe, but I think it's a family secret. Rest assured, it's yummy.
8:45 a.m. -- Awake. Drink OJ, throw on clothes, grab water, cleats, jacket.
9:30 a.m. -- Play football. Probably poorly.
12 p.m. -- Home, hopefully. Shower, change. Jump on Metro.
1 p.m. -- Pick up sister at airport.
2 p.m. -- Home, again. Turn on football. Commence drinking. Begin turkey prep.
3:30 p.m. -- Turkey in oven. Continue drinking.
6 p.m.ish -- Eat. Continue drinking.
8 p.m.ish -- Go out. Continue drinking.
I'm thinking about "live blogging" all of this. Or at least the hours from 2 p.m. to 6, which should be the most amusing.
The new computer is in town. For my return to posting, I of course have to make fun of something. And this Washington Post story is just too rich a target.
It's a great, groundbreaking piece -- in 1997. Seriously, I bet even my mother, who pretty much hates computers, has bought things on the Internet.
Coming soon: Pictures and vital statistics on my new machine. Now isn't that exciting? Bet you can't wait. As well as more crap from Italy and more poking fun at both my mother and Italians.
In the meantime, read about how my friend Pete nearly severed his thumb. It's great writing, but I don't recommend taking it with a meal.
The Italy slide show has been indefinitely delayed. I suffered a catastrophic computer crash a couple weeks ago, and have put off blogging until I figure out how to deal with the issue (most likely, by sucking it up and buying a new laptop, damnit all).Until then, I'm using a work machine, and you'll forgive me if I want to keep as much personal stuff off it as possible.
So the turkey wasn't "classically" beautiful, and maybe the stuffing was a tad dry, but I didn't hear any complaints.
